I'm not sure why but that number on the scale plays with so many of our heads. Especially us women tend to let us bother us in more negative ways than most men do. I for one am guilty for being consumed with the number on the scale. It's a mental game. Seriously it plays games with our minds and somehow manages to cause us to measure our success and failures depending on the number we see. It's taken me a long time and I'm not fully there some days, but I am better understanding how much that number on the scale has no value. I found this a few weeks ago and it really struck me:
This is completely true and how often do we forget it?
I could never tell you how much I weighed in college or really anytime before about the 2010 time frame. All I know was that it wasn't a healthy number. I do know I was wearing size 24 pants and some days they felt too small. I watched most of my friends eat and drink what they wanted and they never seemed larger than a toothpick and it was hard for me to grasp just how hard I was going to have to work to even be healthy, much less feel "skinny".
I stepped on that scale in January 2013 and that number said 250. I had seen larger numbers before but I also knew it was in my best interest to see a smaller number. Most of you are aware of that journey I embarked on. Unfortunately somewhere along the way I let that number on the scale really mess with my head. If it was higher than previous weeks it really got to me and made me feel like a failure.
When I started training with David one of the first things he asked me was this- "Do you care about the number on the scale or do you care about how you look and feel?" Obviously I've never forgotten this message. And I remind myself of the conversation often. He reminds me how I did such damage to my body for many years and it's not going to all be fixed in a years time. These are the things that keep me moving and motivate me when I'm feeling like I'm going nowhere.
Along the way though I've found some numbers that do matter- last week David measured my body fat. I have no previous measures of that which really bums me out but that number surprised me even though I wasn't sure what to expect. I was proud of it and look forward to watching it decline.
Another number I'm proud of- squat weight! That's right. About 4 weeks ago a good friend advised me to look into the 5x5 strength training program. I asked him a million questions about it and did some reading of my own and of course went to David about it. He gave me the heck yeah and on we went with it. Not long after that we maxed out one night. My one rep max was 135.
Here's the picture from that night-
I didn't successfully make it with the weight shown.
So here we are 4 weeks later on this program and I'm squatting 135 on my working sets. That's 3 sets of 5 of theses ladies.
That's a number I'm proud of. I'm stronger than I ever thought and even greater than that happier than I ever imagined possible. I am truly blessed with the best friends and family and motivators ever! I mean that!
Not every day is perfect. Honestly this past week was pretty rough. And I know that's not the last time things will be hard. Last Tuesday was the day I got my big boy plates in squats! I won't ever forget that day and it's not because of the orange plates but it's because of the overwhelming amount of support and encouragement I felt in the weight room that night. David was behind me, literally, the whole time and so many people in there were excited for me. I couldn't wait to share that news and excitement!
Now that my rambling is over I hope you've found some encouragement here. Find what makes you happy and stick with it. Not only that find your support crew. Find the people who you know you can always count on to pick you up when you're down, make you laugh and find something positive to lift you up! Here's a few of mine:
Team camo!
Not to mention I am so blessed with sweet messages like these!
So maybe my scale has gone up a little. The number has been lower than it is now. But this progress matters far more when compared to that stupid number on the scale!
